Holy Haggling: Learning to Pray in the Manner of Abraham

At first sight, the conversation between Abraham and God in Genesis 18 might seem like one of the most peculiar stories in the Bible. Abraham bargaining with God over the destruction of Sodom, and God negotiating the terms of judgment with a mere mortal? It’s a narrative that I wouldn’t have dared to fabricate.
Upon further thought, though, I believe this scene (like all of Scripture) is valuable for learning how to live righteously, especially when it comes to prayer. I call it “prayer” because prayer is about communicating with God, and that’s precisely what Abraham is doing (even though, unlike most prayers, God is physically present for this exchange). Abraham’s prayer exhibits at least four qualities that we should incorporate more into our own prayers.

1. Specificity

Abraham could have simply prayed, “LORD, what if there are some righteous people in Sodom? Maybe a few.” But he didn’t. Instead, he gave God precise numbers: “Suppose there are fifty… forty – five… forty… thirty… twenty… ten.”
He reminds me of George Müller, the 19th – century saint known for running orphanages. Müller didn’t make vague requests such as “Father, please meet our needs.” Instead, his prayers were more like “Father, we need 110 loaves of bread and 75 pairs of shoes by tomorrow morning.” On one occasion, when he was sailing to America for a preaching mission, the ship got stuck in thick fog, which threatened to cancel his entire tour. According to the captain, Müller knelt and prayed, “O Lord, if it aligns with Your will, please clear this fog in five minutes.” He could have just said, “Lord, please clear the fog as soon as possible.” But since he believed five minutes was well within God’s power, he decided to be specific. And why not?
I often hesitate to pray so specifically because if God doesn’t answer, it’ll be obvious, and I’ll feel like a failure, whether in front of the ship’s captain or just privately. It’s true that if we only pray vague, fortune – cookie – like prayers, we’re less likely to be disappointed. However, we’ll also be more likely to wonder if what happened later was actually an answer to our prayer. The downside of avoiding disappointment is that we miss out on the kind of encouragement Müller felt when the fog really did lift in five minutes (and it did).
Similarly, Sodom wasn’t spared. But when it was destroyed, Abraham could at least think, “Unbelievable! There weren’t even 10 righteous people!” because his prayer had been so specific.

2. Compassion

We often want to write off a generally good church or organization because of a few bad members. But Abraham was the complete opposite. He asked God to spare an entire city full of “bad apples” for the sake of a few good ones.
In this, Abraham’s heart mirrored God’s. Our God delays the day of judgment because “he is not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance” (2 Pet. 3:9). God also says, “Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked… and not rather that he should turn from his way and live?… I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Lord GOD; so turn, and live” (Ezek. 18:23, 32).
By praying like this, Abraham was loving his enemies and being kind to the ungrateful and evil (Luke 6:35). It’s the kind of prayer we, as “the salt of the earth,” are called to imitate. Maybe the reason God hasn’t destroyed the United States yet is that, despite its flaws, there are far more than 10 righteous people within its borders—people who pray like Abraham. If so, may the number of such people grow.

3. Importunity

No, I didn’t spell that wrong. “Importunity” is an old – fashioned King James word that means “persistence, especially to the point of annoyance or intrusion.” I’m not saying that God was actually annoyed with Abraham. Still, when reading this exchange, it’s hard not to think, “Wow, this guy is really pushing his luck.” God gives in a bit, and instead of being grateful and satisfied, Abraham takes it as an incentive to keep asking.
It almost seems disrespectful, similar to when Daniel prays, “O Lord, hear; O Lord, forgive. O Lord, pay attention and act” (Dan. 9:19), or when the psalmist says, “O LORD, I am calling to you. Please hurry…” (Ps. 141:1, NLT).
If you heard someone praying like that (without knowing it was from the Bible), you might be tempted to scold them. Yet, these prayers are meant to be examples for us.
It’s like the parable of the man who keeps knocking on his friend’s door late at night, asking for three loaves of bread. Jesus said that “because of [the knocker’s] importunity” (KJV; “impudence,” ESV), the friend will “rise and give him whatever he needs” (Luke 11:8; cf. 18:5). The difference is that while the man in the parable refused to accept “no” as an answer, Abraham refused to accept “yes” as the final word.
God isn’t offended. He wants us to “always pray and not lose heart” (Luke 18:1). Sometimes we don’t receive what we want because we don’t ask (James 4:2). Other times, we get little because we give up too soon. If Abraham had stopped at asking for 50 righteous people to spare Sodom, he would have walked away with a promise based on that number. Instead, as Matthew Henry puts it, “He brought the terms as low as he could for shame…”
Perhaps the most astonishing thing isn’t just Abraham’s shameless persistence but God’s willingness to keep granting his requests. As Henry notes, “The importunity which believers use in their addresses to God is such that, if they were dealing with a man like themselves, they could not but fear that he would be angry with them. But he with whom we have to do is God and not man; and, [however] he may seem, [he] is not really angry with the prayers of the upright (Ps. 80:4), for they are his delight (Prov. 15:8), and he is pleased when he is wrestled with.” So, let’s learn to persevere in our prayers.

4. Reverence

Despite how audacious the whole story of Abraham’s conversation with God sounds, Abraham’s humility is evident. He didn’t say to God, “If you destroy Sodom, I won’t be your friend anymore.” Instead, his entire speech was filled with statements like “Behold, I have undertaken to speak to the Lord, I am but dust and ashes” (Gen. 18:27). And again, “Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak” (vv. 30, 32). It’s not that he thought God was easily offended; rather, he knew that God is a great King, and he was aware that he was testing the boundaries of their relationship.
We, too, should be careful. If we’re going to ask God to “please hurry” like the psalmist or to “pay attention” like Daniel, we need to remember our place and who we’re talking to. We need to be bold enough to be specific and keep pressing our requests even when God gives us some form of approval. But we also need to have an attitude like this:
“Lord, I know so little. I’m just a mortal, like dust and ashes. I’m not here to tell you what to do; I’m not your counselor. You’ve invited me to bring my requests to you, so I’m telling you what I want. Lord, you’re all – wise. What you ultimately decide to do is up to you. But if you’re asking me what I desire, this is it.”
So, let’s not assume we know exactly how prayer should be. Let’s let passages like this touch our hearts and expand the way we currently pray.